Zephyrus Humf

Prophet and cleric for the church of Ale (meet in any tavern Sunday mornings to save your soul)


A short and stout humanoid, all that can be seen of me under my dark blue robes is the occasional glimmer of the silver in my tankard and the gleam of my eyes. Looking to my feet they are bare, and seem to have a small forest of red hair growing out of them, as well as being crisscrossed with burn marks and scars.


Amazing quotes

<lai> [Once a dwarf hits 200, their second beard gets so big that they take a -2 to concentration from the discomfort for as long as they’re wearing pants.]

[Lai] says: [Rasgo’s erection will now last for 4 hours!]

<lai> Maybe it’s the arch-duke’s cockring?

Lai: “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. And if you do, name it after me.”

Lai: “Doesn’t it have to be oriental armor for it to chink?”

Lai: “That’s not lag, That’s Parkinsons”

Lai: “If we restart the campaign I’m blowing in the cartridge first.”

Rasgo: “I’m going to humble you guys right up”… “I’m invincible, don’t you guys know that?”…
[followed by]
a critical hit from a bugbear

Haiku Corner

               Does she piss you off?
               Stick your penis in her, man.
               It will make her cry.

               Little bitch, shut up.
               Suck on this fat cock, you whore.
               Eat it and like it.

               First, get her a drink.
               then, slip in a little pill.
               it’s easy as pie.

               Most intense hatred
               causes intense awesomeness
               to make big comeback.

               I am high as fuck
               so please give to me warm up
               i put on accent

               just do control-C
               copy text at end of chat
               patience is a must

               Your haikus improve.
               being a stoner can help
               but you are not great.

               Claim invincible,
               then get critted by bugbears.
               You fail at this, Lai.

               I will take some feats
               just so Flotibahl can’t save
               ’gainst Unnat’ral Lust

               Flotibahl is cat.
               You are some kind of pervert.
               That is disgusting.

               I frown, shake my head.
               Lai, I thought better of you.
               I am disappoint.

Zephyrus Humf

Scars of Suldairia Moxi